NGPR Bulletin: More from Tethseram

Transcript of main New Gallifrey Communication Channel – SLT time- Sunday, 12th April

Rowan Jinx Thursday: This is Temporal Control, Councillor Thursday on-comm, to all vessels. All ships, anything to report, over?

Hoipoloi Gurbux: Control, this is Gurbux at House Dromeian our full system will be on-line shortly

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Nothing happening over here, just reconfiguring the console layout

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Lord Gurbux, a pleasure to hear from you, we had been concerned by your absence.  Good to hear your systems will soon be up and running.  Thank you for your report, Lord Rasa, over.

Hoipoloi Gurbux: Control, moving our chapter house depleted our energy.. we will be able to inform you of any irregularities shortly.. out

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: If you need any assistance Mr Gurbux, feel free to call on me

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Understood, over.

Hoipoloi Gurbux: thank you Rasa

Hoipoloi Gurbux: out

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: *looks up at his new high roof* Now, if that is a needlessly high roof

Rowan Jinx Thursday: May I take the opportunity to remind you of the need for proper internal or external buttressing? A good thing to think of *before* your next …. landing.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Well, I was going for a mechanical look, cos I’ve got better now.

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Understood.  Hydraulic pistons as roof supports could be rather… effective, over.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: I haven’t crashed going by my TARDISes internal clock for atleast a..year? Oh wait..thats the broken one…ah, there’s the right one. I haven’t crashed for at least two months

Hoipoloi Gurbux: Has anyone thought of time rams as a potential weapon?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Well I know they cause havoc with a TARDIS, especially if you manage to land, then land a second ahead of when you landed, time ramming yourself

Hoipoloi Gurbux: just a thought

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Hold on…. this is Temporal Control… that’s odd.  Readings are spiking over at the Eye of Orion… blast it, what *now*?

Tethseram: Hello,  Time Specks of New Gallifrey. You have missed me,  yes?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Oh, Hello Tethseram! We did, I love your jokes

Rowan Jinx Thursday (hisses slightly): Tetley. How… lovely to hear from you again.

Tethseram: Ah,  Rasallon,  I’m afraid the only joke here is you and your… people,  if I were to be charitable,  yes?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Ouch, shots fired. Well, what brings you to our neck of the woods?

Rowan Jinx Thursday: As with most things, it’s all a matter of perspective.  Now, what can we do for you today, Tethers? A dull day? Need a hand with your homework?  We draw the line at washing your P.E. kit; get your Chronarchs to do it.

Tethseram: I must say,  we Chronarchs have been monitoring your transmissions,  yes?  We are amused by those of you who play peek a boo with your future, yes?  Your so called “seers”. Their prophesies make us laugh.  Our own peepers can see the future with complete clarity, yes? They have provided me with the true prophesy, yes?  Shall I enlighten you?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Oh great, prophesys. Never did like this things, no offence Lady Rowan

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Ah, lovely, we’re dancing this dance today, are we, Tiddles? Do try not to step on my feet, given that your own disruption of the Hunter’s Eye appears to be playing merry hell with the fidelity of your own comm-link…

Tethseram: The itsy bitsy Time Lords

They’re time was running out

Then came the Chronarchs, who wiped the Time Lords out

New Gallifrey’s defenses proved to all be in vain

And the itsy bitsy Time Lords were never seen again

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Oh, see, a joke! Very Funny Tethsy

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Oh, none taken, Lord Rasa, I do assure you.  …. I think it important to hear such things out… however, thank you for that charming little snippet, Tethers old chap… now I would like a word with you, if you would be so kind.

Tethseram: I have been morning but cordial with you temporal mistakes so far,  yes?  By all means.

Rowan Jinx Thursday: We all enjoy a good joke.  It’s like a … mask.  Protects one from having to see the truth, but just sometimes, it’s perhaps time for a little truth.  You’ve mentioned the Seers, so… let’s set that in a little context  for you.  Know this, Tethseram.  The Time Lords do not stand alone.

Hoipoloi Gurbux: The greatest thing a soul ever does in this world… to see clearly is poetry, prophecy and religion all in one.

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Your empty threats and trivial acts of temporal vandalism are… aggravating, nothing more.  Pray that they remain so.  Pray that your threats are empty, for your own sake, Tethseram, Twice-fold Shadow and Lord of the Chronarchs.

Hoipoloi Gurbux: I bow down before the searers

Tethseram: That was very frank,  yes?  Allow me to return the favour. ..

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Daughter of the Sea and the Fire is my name in the Book of the Ages, if we’re making grandiose statements about our relative powers and… endowments, Tethers. I am an adept of the Inner Circle of the Sisterhood of the Flame, and High Seeress of the Pythian House of Jade Dreamers. The destiny of New Gallifrey is bound up with the sacred duty of our House, and heed, our sight ranges extremely far.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Will there be explosions, Tethsy? And will they not be aimed at my ship, cos that’ll be nice

Rowan Jinx Thursday (Speaking with a soft, yet dangerous tone): Step out from your shadows a while. Come into that sight as a true danger to my flock, bring more harm to those we care for, and I may reach out my hand and settle my fingers gently around your heart, and then begin to squeeze.

LordSkullgrin: Yeah im with Rasa on that one.

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Squeeze and squeeze until your ventricles collapse and your atria crumple, your life falters as the deep flow of blood from lung to heart to brain and body is interrupted, and the rich ichor of your lifeblood spills out through torn and crushed muscle into the cavity of your chest… and if, as I surmise, you have a second beating heart… do not forget that I have two hands.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Lady Rowan, remind me not to piss you off.

LordSkullgrin (Audible gulp)

Tethseram: Ah. .. two hands. .. and,  I presume you have some way of attacking the third heart of a Chronarch, yes?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Teamwork?

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Indeed, Lord Rasa.  None of us stand alone, and we never will.  Even at the very last, the very last of us would stand supported by all those who have gone before.  That is what it means to be of New Gallifrey… but, as for you, Tethseram…

Rowan Jinx Thursday: I don’t waste time on threats, but prophecy is my business, and prophecy is, when you get down to it, a warning. You may hide yourself from the sight of my sisters in your dank grotto, but there are others beyond any of us with sharper eyes and broader vision than you or I can conceive, and in *their* tally of years, Tethseram, mark it well, you are indeed seen and known and fully understood.

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Therefore take heed, and either come forth at the appointed hour, or cower forever a craven eunuch, and come no more ever against New Gallifrey.

Tethseram: Now that is a worthy joke,  my dear Rasallon, yes?  I have observed the pretty squabbles of your species.  Team work seems impossible for you,  yes?  Now,  “lady” Rowan,  it is time for you to mark well my words,  yes?

Rowan Jinx Thursday: I’m… giddy with anticipation. Proceed, over.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Well, actually Tethsy. We may fight, but if a threat comes down on us, we will work together better than ever to destroy said threat

The Developer: One Tethsy is found of the word yes.. No? One would not know how to questions a life form without a one word question No?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Gah! The Grammar!

LordSkullgrin: I never did like that horrific thing called Grammar.

The Developer: neither have I.

Tethseram: I am Tethseram,  leader of The Chronarchs,  we who have enslaved gods and have obliterated dimensions.  We are as far above you as you are above the gems which cause a mild illness,  yes?  Where we live,  I have earned the name Universal Nightmare.  Your threats are inconsequential,  yes?  My cordiality until now has been due to my amusement with observing you in your ant farm., yes?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: As they say on Earth “Come at me bro”

Tethseram: That amusement is coming to an end.  Consider yourself informed,  yes?  Tempore Paret!

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Grammar notwithstanding for once, Lord Rasa… as you say.  I think that Tetherington fails to understand the true import of Gallifreyan in-fighting. Strange, given the scope of his self-declared powers, when one word explains it so well. …. (chuckles) Practice.  (pause) Oh, excuse me, Tethers. I felt it more important to answer Lord Rasa first.  Of course threats are inconsequential, dearie.  Threats are, by definition, not actions.  It is actions which have consequences. Temporal Parrot right back at you.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: I must now build a Temporal Parrot, would be an interesting experiment…now..where are my tools

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Disruption at the Eye of Orion… subsiding.  I believe he’s off the comm, though probably still monitoring, I doubt that part was just a bluff.

LordSkullgrin: Could we not just get an Earth Parrot and chuck it into the time vortex?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: It would probably mutate horribly, or disintegrate. I was thinking a mechanical parrot

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: What’s that about a parrot?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Oh Tethy said something about a Temporal Parrot, so I’m gonna try and build one. The usual

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Thank you, my Lords.  We may be in it now, but occasionally, I think certain things need to be met head on. Ah… Madman.  Just come on-comm? You just missed our favourite obscene phone caller.

The Developer: I laugh in the face of anyone who claims to be a GOD, or have overcome said God Deities. Why? Because it is asinine to attempt to claim godhood, or smite godhood. The very notion of deity is beyond barbaric, as just because you may be above something in technology, might, or power does not make you all mighty. Yes? To assert such ludicrousness is worthy of the title “He that is of Microbial thought patterns”. You self righteous fatuous imbecile. Thank you for gracing us with your ridiculous presence Tethseram.

LordSkullgrin: Chucking a parrot it into the vortex madman. I still think it might be a fun experiment..

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Urgh, Rowan, remind me to get everyone to not refer to me as Lord, it doesn’t suit me

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: Belgium!  I like him.  Did anyone give him pie?

Rowan Jinx Thursday: My apologies Lady Rasa, I’ll remember that in future. We-ell…. I did offer to reach into his chest and crush his hearts, I don’t suppose that… exactly counts as pie.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Yup, I asked for that I suppose.

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: Hmm… no,  I don’t think it does,  Your Hipness.

LordSkullgrin: Though Lady Rowan would need another pair of hands as he claims to have three.

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: Oooo… I can juggle!

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: I could make time pie, just strap a pie to the outside shell of your TARDIS. the pie is completely inedible but it has a cool glow

Rowan Jinx Thursday: My apologies, Rasa.  I’m afraid I couldn’t resist.

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Eh, I’ve heard worse puns, mostly from Tethsy

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: Ummm… have you been in personal contact with him?

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Haven’t you heard what he says over the comms? Its all Apocalypse, chaos, self righteousness. Its hilarious

ᵀᴴᴱ мᴬᴰмᴬᴻ: Ah.  That’s not puns.  That’s… over-compensation.

The Developer: About as hilarious as Rasa’s plans of universal domination rants. lol

Rasa Blaidd Dwrg: Hey, that was one time, and I had a lot to drink!

The Developer: heh

The Developer: too much Gallifrey Ale

Rowan Jinx Thursday: Oh I do hope he’s still eavesdropping,” she chuckles slightly, and exhales. “Interesting reactions, in any case.  Some loss of temper… but not perhaps as much as one might expect.”

LordSkullgrin: I think some loss of temper is an understatement from yourself Lady Rowan.

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